


a majestic flaw

by scribblscrabbl



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, bilbo knows what's up, he got lost on the way to bag end, it's okay thorin has other qualities, kili and fili aren't much help, silly fic beware, thorin is directionally challenged, twice, why is he doing the leading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:19:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblscrabbl/pseuds/scribblscrabbl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Thorin has an absolutely abysmal sense of direction, or, rather, no sense of direction at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a majestic flaw

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/1990.html?thread=1934534#t1934534) hobbit-kink prompt, which is far more awesome than this fill I'm afraid.

When Thorin arrives, Bilbo’s too busy sulking about twelve ( _uninvited_ ) dwarves eating him out of house and home to pay attention to his mutterings of roads that should be marked more plainly so that a dwarf does not end up circling cornfields all night, or some such nonsense. 

He doesn’t think much on it when they first make camp and Nori inquires about the road ahead, prompting a series of hmms and ahhs and strangely undignified splutters from Thorin before he sends Fili and Kili to scout the surroundings. (Bilbo realizes much later that the brief hostage crisis with the trolls and subsequent reappearance of Gandalf delayed then averted the need for a proper answer.)

He begins to have an inkling, though, when they’re sneaking out of Rivendell (as much as dwarves can sneak, really) and he notices Thorin leading them away from the clearly well-trodden mountain pass onto another rougher path through the brambles before Dwalin’s arm shoots out, as nonchalantly as he can manage, to reposition him.

“Um.” He casts a sideways glance at Fili, then Kili, who’ve stuck with him since they left the Shire, either to protect him or keep him from running away, he’s not quite sure yet. “I don’t mean to be rude but, is Thorin a bit, a tad bit— _directionally challenged_?”

He keeps his voice tactfully low but the few who hear him snort loudly. Thorin peers back over his shoulder with a furrowed brow.

“More than a bit.” Fili’s grin is full of mischief.

“Take _a bit_ and add _a lot_ to it.” Kili adds, with a frighteningly identical grin.

“When we were wee lads, mother liked to tell us about the time she accompanied uncle to the Blue Mountains, after the War. They got so lost they had to stop in the next village so she could ask for directions.”

“Oh!” Kili starts bouncing on the balls of his feet. “And remember the time we stayed out in the forest so late mother was worried so she sent uncle out looking for us? We got home not long after but Thorin hadn’t returned. Then she sent a search party out for _him_.”

Now most the dwarves are chortling and Thorin’s glaring suspiciously over his shoulder, and Bilbo would find the entire thing entertaining if it weren’t for his fear that Thorin might be leading them astray as they speak, into a nasty marsh or off a very high cliff.

“Not to worry, Bilbo,” Fili thumps him on the back and nearly knocks him over, “Balin’s our unofficial guide.”

Bilbo can’t help thinking that’s easy for _him_ to say; dwarves are made of heartier stuff. He wishes he had his handkerchief, so if he does die, at the very least he’ll die a proper hobbit.

It’s in the depths of Mirkwood, under the immense canopy of trees gnarled with age, that Bilbo suspects they’re lost, officially or not. 

“Haven’t we seen this oak before?” He thinks it might be impertinent of him to ask but there are really only so many times he can pass by the same tree before suggesting their time could be better spent. He also has the gnawing suspicion that dwarves, in general, have a very specific skill set, and that primarily involves delving underneath mountains where there’s only one way forward.

“It cannot be. All my instincts tell me that this is the way—” 

“Ah!” Kili’s exclamation stops Thorin short. “I found my button! It must have fallen off the last time—” 

Everyone stands awkwardly for a moment, looking at everyone else but Thorin, who looks bamboozled.

“Right.” He clears his throat. “Let us—rest for some hours so we might make more sense of the forest when we wake.” 

Bilbo sighs and drops his pack, thinking that this unexpected journey will end up being unexpectedly long.


End file.
